Lie to Him, Moan for Me!

Me and him

I had been pacing my room for hours.

The lights were off. The air felt too still. Every noise outside her window made me flinch, thinking—hoping—it might be something else. Something that could pull me out of my head.

I had told myself a hundred different things: that it wasn't real, that it didn't matter, that I still loved Liam. That none of it counted, because I'd never say it out loud.

But my lips still burned.

And Emma's voice still echoed in my skull, sharp and unforgiving.

"You'll lose him forever.
And maybe you should."

A soft knock came at the door.

Three slow, uneven taps.

I stilled. My fingers curled around the edge of my desk. For a second, I thought I imagined it. No one knocked like that.

Then again—no one knocked at this hour.

I hesitated. Walked to the door slowly. Looked through the peephole.

And everything in me dropped.

Nathan.

Leaning against the frame, eyes dark and half-lidded, jaw set too tight. His hands were shoved deep into his jacket pockets like they were the only thing keeping him from unraveling.

I opened the door a crack.

He didn't say anything.

Neither did I.

His eyes met mine, glassy but alert. Drunk, but not wasted. His face looked pale, colder than it should've in July. His mouth pressed into a thin line, like even being here cost him something.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice quiet.

He blinked slowly. "I didn't think I'd actually knock."

I stared.

"I was just gonna walk past," he mumbled. "Y'know. Get some air. Make bad decisions."

I opened the door a little more. "And this is the one you picked?"

A breath—almost a laugh, but not quite. "Guess so."

He didn't ask to come in.

But he didn't leave either.

After a moment, I stepped back.

He stepped inside like he didn't mean to, like it surprised him too. He stayed near the door, like he might still back out. Like getting too close would make it worse.

I closed it behind him.

The silence curled in.

I folded my arms. "Are you okay?"

He nodded once, slowly. Then shook his head. "No."

Something twisted in my chest.

Nathan that I thought I knew would've never said that. And he sure as hell wasn't the kind to show up at someone's door like this.

"Did you walk here?"

"Yeah." His voice was low. "Don't worry. I was too drunk to drive, not to walk."

"That's not... better."

"I know."

I rubbed my hands over my face. "You can't just show up like this."

He looked at me. Really looked. "Where else was I supposed to go?"

The question hit me in the ribs.

"I didn't want to be around him," Nathan added, quieter now. "Couldn't look at him. Not after..."