Somebody Like You

12. That's not on me

MADDIE

The meeting drags on forever.

Brenda's talking about emergency protocols and meal schedules and a dozen other logistical details that I should be paying attention to but can't seem to focus on. My brain keeps replaying Enya saying I look like shit.

I guess the stress from the weekend couldn't hide under the many layers of makeup I poured on my face.

I feel like shit. And having her point it out so casually, like we're still people who can be honest with each other, makes everything worse.

"—and remember, teamwork is essential!" Brenda's saying. "You're not just counselors, you're a family for the next five weeks!"

I glance over at Enya. She's staring straight ahead, jaw tight, clearly not listening either. There's something in her posture that makes me think she's having just as terrible a time as I am.

Good. Misery loves company.

Skylar catches my eye. She looks guilty, like she knows exactly what she's done and is starting to regret it. She mouths something that might be "sorry" or might be "talk later."

I look away. I can't deal with Skylar's well-intentioned meddling yet.

Morgan leans over and whispers, "You good?"

"Totally," I whisper back. "Best day ever."

The smile feels wrong on my face. It cracks halfway through, and I have to look down at my hands to hide it.

Morgan doesn't look convinced, but she doesn't push. Small mercies.

"Alright everyone!" Brenda claps her hands. "That's it for now. We're doing a casual counselor bonding lunch, then you'll have free time to decorate your cabins and prepare for tomorrow. Let's make this summer amazing!"

Everyone starts filing out, chattering about lunch and activities. I hang back, not ready to deal with social interaction yet.

But Enya hangs back too, and suddenly we're both awkwardly standing while everyone else leaves.

"After you," I say stiffly.

"No, go ahead."

"I insist."

"Maddie—"

"Fine." I walk out first. 

This is going to be the longest five weeks of my life.

The bonding lunch is set up buffet-style in the dining hall. There are sandwiches, chips, fruit, and way too much enthusiasm from Brenda about team spirit.

I grab a plate and scan for a safe place to sit. Somewhere far from Enya, far from Skylar, far from anyone who might ask if I'm okay.

But of course, fate hates me.

I end up at a table with Skylar, Morgan, Jake, Liv, and— because the universe is cruel— Enya.

Skylar's positioned herself directly between Enya and me. It's so obvious that even Jake notices, raising an eyebrow but not commenting.

"So," Liv says brightly, "anyone else excited about tomorrow? I've never been responsible for actual children before."

"It's terrifying," Jake agrees. "But also amazing. You'll do great."

"I hope so. I'm just worried I'll lose one. Like, I'll count heads and come up short."

"That's why we have the buddy system," Morgan says. "Very hard to lose a kid when they're attached to another kid."