Cryfor Stories

Why must peace be a luxury? Why should our hearts yearn for care? What do we stand to gain from war? Why must we this suffering bare?

People don't understand. People don't understand the pain I have been in for the past year. The worst part? They didn't even notice. They didn't notice my avoidance of sugar or gluten or food in general. They didn't notice that in order for me to feel like me, I had to exercise constantly and even then I felt sick, disgusted, and disappointed with the body I have. My whole life people have told me to watch what I eat, be careful of sugar, exercise more, drink more water, and then one day, I noticed that those comments change to your so skinny, eat more, you never eat, you drink so much water, you exercise so much, I wish my stomach was flat like yours, I wish I had your will power, looks like your losing weight, good job. I started to feel unconfident when someone didn't comment on my body, or how I lost weight, and the number wasn't going down anymore. I started to eat less, drink less, and exercise more. I became so intent on the number on the scale that I would cry myself to sleep, starved and alone and in it by myself. I began to feel sick, bags under my eyes, red skin, weak, and anxious. I lost my purpose. I lost my personality, friends, family, and the meaning of life itself or in its whole. I threw everything away just so I could be accepted in society, just so I could be considered pretty with a "perfect body" and when I looked in the mirror I saw a broken girl who bullied herself into this. She bullied herself into an eating disorder. I'm 15. My name is Hayley River Smith, and this is my story.