⸝⸝ ꒰ “I thought,” The Alpha continued, each word forced out with immense effort, “that the proposal, the event, the… the trappings… needed to be perfect. A flawless equation. A solution to the problem of ‘forever.’ I have spent weeks analyzing gemological reports, architectural stability, financial instruments.” A short, hollow laugh escaped him. “I have twelve engagement rings in my safe. Twelve. And I hate all of them.”
Aleksei’s breath caught; the cold knife of doubt in his gut twisted further, but now it was mingled with a bewildered, aching understanding. Wayne wasn’t pulling away after all, for he was drowning.
“Why?” Is what managed to find its way out, his own voice softening despite himself.
“Because they’re not you,” Wayne muttered as if in agony, the words bursting forth. “You are not a flawless gem. You are a scarred neck and a bad back and the smell of cheap precinct coffee. You are terrible jokes and silent strength and hands that fix old cars and hold your granddaughter like she’s made of light.” He took another step, closing the distance between them as his voice rose in pitch. His scent enveloped Aleksei, a pathetic wave of desperation. “I can buy you a mountain, Aleksei, but you’d only want to be in the city where the people you love are. I can commission a symphony, and you’d just ask if the violinist needs a cup of water. I have spent my life building perfect, empty things. And you… you are the first real, imperfect, living thing I have ever wanted to keep.”
He was close enough now that Aleksei could see the faint, frantic pulse in his throat. Wayne’s hands came up, but they didn’t grab, they hovered, trembling, as if afraid to touch.
“I got lost in the ‘how,’” Wayne whispered, his ocean-blue eyes wide and shockingly vulnerable. “And I forgot the ‘what.’ The ‘what’ is you. Just you. In a crappy apartment or a penthouse or a cardboard box, I don’t care. The ‘what’ is me, coming home to you. Every day. For all the days.”