Kris..

I Want to Write a Poem
          
          I always wanted to write a poem 
          but I never knew how.
          I never knew if it HAD to rhyme.
          If it didn't, 
          what made it a poem?
          
          
          I always wanted to write a poem
          but never had the motivation. 
          I'd sit in bed thinking, 
          but never say anything aloud.
          
          
          I always wanted to write a poem and yet 
          I never did. 
          15 years of life
          and I never tried to write one.
          
          
          I always wanted to write a poem 
          one that told a story. 
          A story that would continue and never grow old.
          
          
          I always wanted to write a poem
          one about love once I found that special someone.
          Apparently that will never happen.
          
          
          I always wanted to write a poem
          that would show the happiness of my life, 
          but I can't show myself that happiness.
          
          
          I always wanted to write a poem 
          but wanted to die so many times that I thought
          I'd never get to.
          
          
          I always wanted to write a poem 
          but got dumped multiple times 
          and led on even more.
          
          
          I always wanted to write a poem
          but my grades were always bad.
          
          
          I always wanted to write a poem
          but never got validated for showing interest in poetry
          —
          
          I wanted to write this poem
          because I believed I could.
          
          
          I wanted to write this poem 
          because I wanted to prove 
          I wasn't a freak.
          
          
          I wanted to write this poem 
          because I thought it could remind me
          to take care of myself.
          
          
          I wanted to write this poem
          because despite everything,
          I'm still here.
          
          
          I wanted to write this poem 
          because I am still smiling
          and laughing
          
          
          I wanted to write this poem
          because no matter how much I'm hurting, 
          I know I can go on longer.
          —
          I WANTED TO WRITE THIS POEM BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO LOVE MYSELF.
          —
          I am writing this poem
          for all the reasons above…
          
          My name is Terry. 
          
          
          I have written this poem to prove that…
          
          
          I can.

i miss you, sue. i miss you so damn much. this all sucks. it all sucks. love sucks, happiness sucks, everything. goddamnit.

HEY FUCKASSES
          
          DECO MY FUCKING TREE BITCHES!!!!!!! 
          https://decomytree.com/home?hashedId=JHuiRx-XqDcU
          
          
          ..and like also add me on discord bc im lonely.. Terrence03606

chat life is NOOOOT lifeing today

I want to take so much melatonin that I’ll fall asleep and never wake up… please I just want to be done

@3lli3InWond3rland uh- yeah. I have discord

TW!!!! Talk of SH and su!c!de
          
          
          I don’t deserve the love I receive. 
          “Yes you do.”
          Why? I hardly know how to love anymore that I can’t give any love back to him.
          “Shut up. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Learn to love. And stop hurting yourself.”
          It’s so hard to stop. He talks about changing as if it’s ‘easy’ well for me, it’s not. I WANT to change more than anything and get better but whenever I see any type of cutter or sharp object, I want to drive it across my skin. Whether it me my wrists, arms, hands, etc. I don’t care. Seeing something I can potentially hurt myself with makes me want to remember every little reason I wanted to commit suicide or cut myself. It makes me want to remember every experience I tried SO HARD to forget. But yet I still can’t kill myself. It’s selfish and I don’t have the balls. I have someone that loves me and I love him. I have friends I know I can go to. I have no right to be so upset right now but I am. I hate it so much. I should be grateful for what I have, not try to leave it all behind. But I still can’t get the stupid image out of my head no matter what anyone says. What would happen if I truely said goodbye? People would get over it, right? How would he feel? Would he be upset..? Probably but Hed move on. What if u didnt die but started taking pills? Antidepressants? Would that affect myself or people around me? Most likely. How interesting. Why was he so worried for me taking melatonin? I’m not dead yet and I wasn’t taking enough to overdose. Yea, you’re only meant to take one but four is not that bad and it never killed me. What’s the big deal? Ugh. I hate feeling like this. Like I used to two years ago. It sucks.

Heeeeyyyy coconutssss!! How’s lifeeee??? Hopefully gooodddd. I’m so fucking bored :D

dude i haven't heard of u in 4ever.
          
          hope ur doing ok :))

I’m gone.