lucenttrxveler

is it me or is wattpad notifications not working
          	or is it just very dry
          	cause ive only gotten 2 notifications in the span of three days

angvliclove

no bro bc same i just got bombed with 210+ notifs 
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lucenttrxveler

this message may be offensive
TW: swearing, maybe a vent
          
          so, i was absent for a competition once, so i wasn't there for class
          
          in that class, they also announced a group project, and i didn't know until next week, when the subject leader asked me to find a group to join and stuff. 
          
          at first i wasnt sure, i wasnt close with anyone in the class, and i felt awkward, especially since days after, when i didn't react to my chinese teacher calling me out on homework, i heard, but simply didn't react, and the girls beside me thought i was deaf and kept giggling and shit. also happened with ppl older than me once during recess. ;-;
          
          i also genuinely believe people think im deaf because of this.
          
          anyways, i finally had the courage to ask a group to join them, seeing i was closest with two people in the group. they said, and i quote, 'sorry, we have everything sorted out and we just can't let you join.' i may be exaggrating due to stress, so i do feel like im victimizing myself a bit, sorry. i tried again with another group, rejected. i gave up, bad trait of mine.
          
          the teacher asked me about it, and gave me a choice. either i do a group project alone, or ask someone else. i work alone.
          
          however, my little brother is very sweet to me (we have the weirdest but most calm sibling relationship ever. both of us are lonely people at school so we found each other and barely have fights. yeah) and decided to help me out, and i appreciate it.
          
          a friend from another class also volunteered to help, but i didn't want burden em. (they insisted anyway i love em so much)
          
          so yeah. especially since ive dealt with fitting in and a few rude comments before graduating to my new school, people say i have looked better, and im happy about that. but, im scared due to these strained relationships with my classmates, i will become the same person i was before. ive healed from my depressive-like state from my old school, even others say i have gotten better, and i dont want to relive it again. not when ive changed.
          i hope i dont.

lucenttrxveler

so um...
          
          i technically finished a competition with my school band two weeks ago (we got bronze)
          now i have a solo competition in ballet right after school this thursday
          
          im proud of myself but idk if i can survive this ;-;

lucenttrxveler

also i think im a bit more mentally tired than usual for some reason.
            
            i think it's because of school?
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lucenttrxveler

theme change!!
          
          it's komugi from wonderful precure!
          
          yeah my precure hyperfixation is on a very long run rn
          
          consider seeing only precure themes from me from now on
          
          komugi is such an adorable character i couldn't not do her
          
          adorable gremlin who's quite literally a dog
          
          anyway, also did a bio change! only slightly but i always do that
           
          byebye

lucenttrxveler

so, i know i haven't been active on here but it's kinda been lonely whenever i jumped on the platform
          
          yeah it's also my fault for not interacting with anyone or interacting with other things, i know that. 
          but idk, i just feel distanced from the community so i decide to just be around and only look at notifications. 
          
          being lonely has kinda been a bad point of my irl life since childhood, so it's weird to feel it again ig, and im not fond of it. im really sorry if i sound dramatic rn.
          
          so there's a chance i go on hiatus, really sorry if im not interacting with anything.

lucenttrxveler

plus no one really looks at my message board so it's a surprise if anyone does tbh.
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