@ruby_ribbon
Hello writer
Are you in for V4v and C4c
I am a new writer and I need genuine support and feedback from authors like you
I would really appreciate if you will go through my book .
https://yamur.dijitalkalp.com/story/408174086?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=Alanqin
Hi do check out my story veins of iron. It's a slow burn romance with fantasy and politics. I'm a new writer and would love to get your feedback!!
Would you be interested in v4v.
https://yamur.dijitalkalp.com/story/395969747?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create&wp_uname=Tinaw82
@BestMicrowaveCrush Thankyouuu!! I hope you continue it, but currently Im not looking to scale up , but will reach out if i am :D
@Tinaw82 Hey Tinaw, just wanted to say how much I'm enjoying Veins Of Iron. Your storytelling is incredible! I specialize in helping authors build professional platforms and optimize their online presence. If you're ever looking to take Veins Of Iron to a dedicated site or need some help with SEO/landing pages, I’d love to connect. Where is the best place to send a quick proposal?
Hi! I went through your prologue and the first three chapters and wanted to share some notes. Overall, your story has a strong foundation, rich themes, and significant emotional and mythological potential. One recurring observation is that some sections lean more on exposition and summary than fully dramatised scenes, which may create a bit of distance for the reader or slow the pacing.
Prologue:
The emotional core is strong, especially Sanghoon’s trauma, isolation, and gradual descent toward revenge, but the prologue covers a large span of his life very quickly. Some major moments (such as his mother’s death, his father’s betrayal, and the shift toward revenge) may feel even more impactful if the focus narrows to a single defining event, allowing the reader to experience it through sensory detail, internal conflict, and character reactions. The intruder scene has good tension and could be even stronger with fewer repetitions and clearer escalation.
Chapter 1:
The mythological scope and tone are engaging, though parts of the chapter read more like a mythology overview than a narrative scene. Filtering the lore through a character’s perspective or purpose could help anchor the information. The interactions between Hades, Persephone, Cerberos, and Lily are enjoyable, and tightening the dialogue, trimming repetition, and smoothing transitions would strengthen immersion.
Chapter 2:
The worldbuilding is imaginative and detailed, but at times leans toward encyclopedic explanation. The emotional stakes, especially involving Cerberos’ child and the contrast between Hades and Persephone, are strong and might resonate more through dramatised interaction rather than extended explanation. Shortening some conversations and embedding world details into action could help with pacing.
Chapter 3:
The emotional conflict and themes are compelling, particularly Persephone’s fear and defiance and the looming threat of Zeus. Some key moments feel rushed due to limited buildup, and allowing actions and dialogue to carry more of the emotional weight could help those moments land more strongly.
Overall, you have a really solid foundation, strong ideas, and clear themes. Slowing down in key moments, showing rather than telling, tightening dialogue, and trusting the reader to feel the emotion through the scene could make a big difference. I hope this helps, and I’m happy to clarify anything if you’d like!
Could you Plz write something similar to concubine based on lesbian Queen and young girl.. thanks
V 4 v
Hi,
I'm working on a new fantasy romance. If you could please check it out that would be amazing! Really looking for feedback and maybe some dedicated readers. Lmk what you think <3
https://yamur.dijitalkalp.com/story/403548490-firefly-and-the-hollow
@henvick First of all, I'd like to thank you for your compliments and suggestions. Honestly, I didn't think that far ahead because this is my first time as a writer. And sorry, right now I don't have much confidence in my writing results.