Chapter 53

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W I N T E R

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W I N T E R

I don't get far. I couldn't.

My legs are sore, my muscles burned. My breaths are shallow, only muted pants that scrapes through my throat.

The back road is empty, bathed in warm yellow light. There's a barrier of stone boulders stretching as far as my eyes can see. Waves from the ink-blue sea crash against the cool surface, and my pathetic limp of a walk eventually comes to a stop.

I can't move any further.

The salty sea spray glitters faintly on my face. The wind is cool as it weaves through my hair. And for the first time in my life, I wish I had someone, someone with unconditional adoration for me to run their fingers through my hair.

No. Not like a lover's.

But a mother's.

Or maybe just someone I could complain to about everyone and everything without having to carry the guilt of burdening them with my misfortunes. Someone bound to me by fate, someone I could be selfish with, just once. Just something I had my right over and would have no due to pay. No favours to return. I just want to pour all my pain into their lap and fall asleep.

I don't know what I'm asking for. It could be angels, a ghost, or a miracle. But I know I can't keep relying on Yuki and Fleur the way I do. I'm ruining their lives. Their opportunities. Their peace.

I don't listen, and I go down. And when I do, I take my friends down with me.

.

.

.

.

There's no network here.

I look down at my watch, and an error signal blinks red, fading in and out. It's just a deserted strip of private lane with the sea on one side and woods on the other.

I remember being in there, in the woods. I turn my back to it and bask in the sea breeze. I rest the side of my head against the lamp post.

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