Love me harder

34

Tessa's POV

It's past midnight and I'm sitting on the cold floor in my apartment. It's the fourth time this night when I throw up. What the fuck is wrong with me? I think I should call mom to ask her what's happening. I feel a bit better, so I stand up and I look at the clock. It's 12.15 am and that means in Chicago is 11.15 pm. Mom is in her night shit and I hope she has some free time to talk with my and diagnose me. I take my phone and I dial her number, after a few moments she answers.

Phone call

"Tessa, darling? Is everything ok, baby?"

"Yes and no."

"What's wrong, honey?"

"Well... I didn't feel really good in the last days and I don't know what meds I should take."

"What symptoms did you have?"

"Nausea, dizziness, I throw up everything I eat."

"Fever?"

"Nope."

"Cramps? Bleeding? Fatigue?""

"Fatigue, yes. What going on, mom?"

"I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me, honey." I hear her leaving the room. What's going on?

"Did you have unprotected sex in the last few weeks?"

"Mom!" Why is she asking me this? Oh, shit.

"Tessa... I think you are pregnant."

"No, no! I can't! It can't be true, mom. Last time when I... Shit." Last time when I was sexually active it was five weeks ago, at Steph's wedding. I don't remember using protection, so this is it. I'm pregnant with Hardin's baby. But no! I don't want this!

"Tessa, baby... Are you fine?"

"I don't know." I manage to say before I start to cry.

"Shhh, it's fine, baby. You are not alone in this. Calm down, please. It's not good for your health."

"I can't do this, mom."

"I'm coming to New York tomorrow and we are going to figure out what's happening, ok? And I will help you to make the right choice. Now, go get some sleep and tomorrow morning, go and buy a test. Ok?"

"Ok..." I sigh.

"Who's the father?"

"Really? Are you serious?!"

"It's Hardin?"

"Yes!"

"I'm sorry... I thought you have someone in New York and..." I interrupt her.

"No, I don't have anyone. But mom?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Please, don't talk about this with Hardin."

"Why not? It's not him?"

"Mom, please. Just promise."

"Ok, I promise."

"Thank you, mom."

"Don't stress too much, baby. Maybe it's something else."

"Let's hope. Good night, mom."

"Sleep well, honey."

I end the call and I get dressed. I can't stay until tomorrow to know if I'm pregnant or not. I lock my apartment and I run to the market, I buy three tests, just to be sure, and I head back to home. I take off Hardin's hoodie, the only thing I have from him, beside a t-shirt. I take a bottle of water from the fridge and I drink it. A few minutes later, I go in the bathroom and I pee on these three tests, then I wait. When five minutes passes, I turn the tests and I look. Shit. This can't happen to me. I can't be pregnant, not now. I'm too young to have a baby. And now... it's not the right time for a kid! I'm not even in a relationship with the baby daddy. How I will tell him about the baby? First, I should go to a doctor. I have to see what's happening. To see if the baby is fine, if I am fine, if everything is fine. But how I will do this? How I will be a mother too soon? What if Hardin doesn't want it? Shit. There are a lot of questions without an answer.

*

The next day, when I wake up, it's just 8 am. I don't know if I get three hours of sleep. I couldn't sleep because of the stress. My mom will be here after 3 pm and I don't know what to do now. I look at these tests again, maybe I didn't see good, but no. Two strong lines on every test. That's great! I'm having a baby with Hardin and we are apart. I have to move on and to talk with him about us having this kid. I'm not cruel to let a kid without his father. But I don't know when and how I will tell him? Obviously not through a phone call. Maybe I will go to Chicago and we will have a long talk. I can't think a lot about this, because I feel sick and I run to the bathroom, where I spent the next few hours. Great!

It's 11 am and I finally feel better. I wash my face and I brush my teeth, then I go to eat something. I find some fruits and I think they are enough. I don't want to be sick again after I eat. I sit at the table and I eat slowly, when I'm done my phone starts to ring. Who is calling me? I look at my phone to see the ID caller. I hesitate a little until I answer.

Phone call

"Tess..."

"Hardin... hi."

"Sorry for bothering you..."

"I'm not doing anything. What's up?"

"I want to ask you something."

"Ok, I'm listening you."

"I want to participate at a medicine congress next week. Do you think I could stay at your place? I can sleep on the couch. I just don't want to rent a hotel room."

"Uhm... yes, sure."

"Thank you so much, Tess... How are you?"

"Well... I had better days before."

"Are you ok? What's wrong?"

"I'm fine, don't worry. But I want to talk with you when you come here."

"Tell me, now."

"It's not something we can discuss on a phone call, ok?"

"It's something bad?"

"It depends on how you take it. But I can't tell you now."

"You are scarring me, Tess."

"I'm fine, don't worry. Everything is fine. Believe me, please."

"Ok, fine. I believe you. Your mom arrived?"

"Not yet. She will be here around 4 pm."

"Ok. If you need me, just call. You know I'm always here for you, Tess."

"I know. Thanks for this, Hardin."

"Anytime."

I end the call with Hardin. It was nice to talk with him... But how will be when he will know about the baby? He will be happy? He will get mad and he will let me alone? He will run away? I hope everything will be fine. He is my true love and this pregnancy is a sign that we have to be together.