Raven: His First Everything

47|Nineteen

Raven's POV

Well, I'm nineteen now.

Today felt like any other day.

I hadn't told anyone it was my birthday because I didn't want to celebrate.

I haven't celebrated...not since my grandparents died.

They used to try their best to make me have the best birthday each year, so now I hate my birthday.

It reminds me of them too much.

It seems like Ryan had forgotten my birthday.

He didn't call or text.

Selene hadn't either.

I didn't expect her to.

She probably forced herself to forget the day she had me.

Chloe and I walked silently walked around in the mall.

We were going in circles and things were starting to get really awkward.

I know she had seen me with Cassian yesterday and I could tell it was bothering her.

It was bothering me too.

"Just ask already," I said, not being able to take it anymore.

"Ask what?" She played dumb.

"You know what," I told her. "I know you saw me on Cassian's lap."

"You know Raven, I don't really want to talk about it," she said, but I held her back, trying to stand in one position.

"Well, I do," I told her. "Criticize me, I know you want."

She looked down. "I don't."

"Chloe," I groaned and she looked up at me.

"Why?" She asked. "Why do that when you know that Sophie clearly likes him?"

"You're going to cause a mess that you can't clean," she finally said what was on her chest.

I looked down, clenching my fists.

"Because I like him too," I told her. "He's the first shy boy I've ever been attract to and I want to see where it leads."

She didn't look pleased.

"Look Raven, I've known Cassian since we were four. He's fragile and keeps his company extremely limited," she said.

"If this is just some sort of experience for you and you plans to hurt him in the future-"

"I like him," I cut her off. "And no, this isn't some kind of experience for me and no, I don't have plans to hurt him."

"I want to be with him because he's the first guy who doesn't piss me off and who accepts me for me," I told her.

"He gives me butterflies and those corny feelings inside," I told her. "And I'm sorry if you don't like that."

She looked down. "It's not that I don't like that, Raven. I'm happy that you like someone."

"It's just that I know how it feels to be taken advantage of, even if it wasn't the person's goal," she said. "You can easily hurt him."

I stayed quiet as I watched her.

"Carter was the most popular boy and I thought he was so cool," she said with tears in his eyes. "One day, he gave me attention, led me on."