(A 9A disaster disguised as a school week)
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Scene: Monday morning. Class 9A.
Tanjiro and Genya stand at the front, wearing shiny new Monitor Badges (handmade by Uzui-sensei, of course—glitter everywhere).
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Tanjiro: (smiling) Alright everyone! Let’s start the week with positivity!
Inosuke: (yelling) I DON’T DO POSITIVITY! I DO PUSH-UPS!
Genya: (already stressed) Sit down before Sanemi-sensei hears you.
Zenitsu: (panicking) Why would he hear us? Is he here?! checks ceiling
Genya: He always hears me. He knows.
Kanao: (quietly flipping coin) It landed tails. Chaos is inevitable.
Tanjiro: (still smiling) It’s okay! We’ll make this work!
Inosuke: YOU SOUND LIKE MY MOM.
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MATHS
Sanemi: (slams door open) WHO PUT GENYA IN CHARGE OF ANYTHING?!
Genya: (freezes) …Me? I mean, them. I mean—please don’t kill me.
Sanemi: “Please don’t kill me,” he says. AFTER FAILING QUESTION THREE IN THE LAST TEST!
Zenitsu: (whispers) I think I just lost a year of my life.
Sanemi: KANAO! ANSWER THIS! Solve for x!
Kanao: x = 7.
Sanemi: Correct. Tanjiro, check it!
Tanjiro: checks calmly Yes, she’s right.
Sanemi: glares You think I didn’t know that?!
Genya: (to himself) I can still resign, right?
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ART
Uzui: CLASS 9A! YOU SHALL PAINT YOUR SPIRIT TODAY!
Zenitsu: (whispering) Mine’s already crushed.
Uzui: NO EXCUSES! Tanjiro, why is your canvas plain?
Tanjiro: I’m painting the purity of the human heart.
Uzui: …BORING! Add glitter!
(throws entire bucket of glitter on him)
Tanjiro: (sparkling) I—thank you?
Genya: I’m not cleaning that.
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CHEMISTRY
Iguro: Be precise. One drop of acid more, and the beaker explodes.
Zenitsu: hand shaking Uh… was it two drops or three?
Tanjiro: Zenitsu, it’s two. Careful.
Zenitsu: Okay—OH NO MY HAND SLIPPED—
(BOOM! Mini explosion. Smoke fills room.)
Iguro: (sighs, unbothered) I knew it.
Genya: (covered in soot) It’s fine… my soul left my body in math period anyway.
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BIOLOGY
Kanae: Good morning, my lovely students! Today we dissect frogs!
Zenitsu: screams in emotional agony
Genya: (ironically calm) …Finally, a peaceful class.
Tanjiro: (smiling nervously) Kanae-sensei, my frog is… waving at me?
YOU ARE READING
KIMETSU ACADEMY
Humorthis contains made up variations of Kimetsu Gakeun. Filled with High school chaos that will send you rolling on the floor. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK OR YOU MIGHT DIE FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD!!!
