(a.k.a. Genya Shinazugawa’s After-Exam Doom)
Scene: The Shinazugawa household. Evening.
The sun has set. Crickets chirp.
But inside the house… a storm brews.
---
Genya: (sneaking in quietly, holding his bag like it’s a bomb)
Maybe… maybe Nemi didn’t see my results yet… maybe he—
Sanemi: (voice from the next room)
GENYA SHINAZUGAWA!
Genya: (freezes mid-step)
He saw it. He definitely saw it. 💀
Sanemi: (storms in holding the report sheets like death warrants)
YOU GOT A NINETY-FIVE IN CIVICS.
A NINETY-ONE IN BIOLOGY.
A NINETY IN CHEMISTRY.
AND A 50....50, GENYA—IN MATHS?!
Genya: (defensive)
That’s actually an improvement! Last time I got a 42!
Sanemi: (gritting teeth)
Oh, improvement, he says!
Tell me, O brilliant scholar of every subject BUT MATH,
how did you pull an A in physics under Akaza—
BUT when it comes to my class, your brain DIES like a candle in the wind?!
Genya: (mumbling)
Because physics makes sense… Math doesn’t.
Sanemi: (offended to his core)
EXCUSE ME?!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN “MATH DOESN’T MAKE SENSE”?
MATH IS SENSE!!
(Sanemi slams the report sheet on the table so hard a pen explodes.)
Genya: (wiping ink from his face)
Nemi… you broke the pen. Again.
Sanemi: (ignores him, pacing like a mad tiger)
How—how can you remember every nerve cell from Kanae's bio notes,
but can’t factor a simple quadratic equation?
Genya: (quietly)
Because quadratics have trauma energy.
Sanemi: (turns sharply)
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!
Genya: (nervous)
Nothing! Just that—uh—numbers… attack me emotionally.
Sanemi: (vein bulging)
NUMBERS DON’T ATTACK YOU, YOU ATTACK LOGIC!
(Lightning flashes outside. The entire neighborhood senses danger.)
---
[Meanwhile, from across the street]
Rengoku: (peeking from window)
Ah! The Shinazugawa house thunderstorm has begun again!
Truly, sibling bonds forged in FIRE!
Tomioka (just passing his time in Kyojuro's house) : (calmly drinking tea)
He’s grading again.
Rengoku: (grinning)
How can you tell?
Tomioka:
The earthquake magnitude matches Sanemi’s anger scale.
---
[Back inside]
Sanemi: (still ranting)
You can name every part of the digestive system but can’t digest a single algebraic expression!!
Genya:
That’s because they don’t belong in the same stomach, Nemi!
Sanemi: (slams desk)
YOU WANNA TEST ME?! I’LL MAKE YOU SOLVE EVERY PROBLEM FROM EXERCISE 8C RIGHT NOW!
Genya: (visibly dying inside)
I haven’t even eaten dinner yet—
Sanemi:
GOOD! MATH IS YOUR DINNER!
(He tosses a textbook the size of a brick onto the table.)
Genya: (dodges)
Bro! That’s attempted murder with decimals!
Sanemi:
Sit. Down.
Now solve question 5.
Genya:
Which one’s 5—oh no it’s that one—NOOO—
Sanemi:
(x= ?!)
Genya:
Uh… 7?
Sanemi:
It’s –3.
Genya: (weakly)
That’s what I meant emotionally.
(Sanemi’s soul leaves his body.)
---
[Ten minutes later…]
Sanemi: (exhausted, pacing)
How… are you my brother?
Genya: (quietly)
Genetics.
Sanemi: (snaps pencil in half)
WRONG ANSWER!
Sanemi:
You know what? You’re grounded from everything except the math textbook.
Genya: (horrified)
Even dinner?!
Sanemi:
Especially dinner.
You’re gonna EAT these equations until you taste numbers.
Genya:
That’s… not how learning works…
Sanemi:
IT IS NOW!
---
[Later that night…]
(Genya sits at his desk, surrounded by pages of algebra, eyes hollow.)
Genya: (whispering to himself)
This is it… this is my villain origin story.
When they find my body, tell them the “math” got me.
(Door creaks open — Sanemi walks in quietly.)
Sanemi: (softly, holding a plate)
…Eat something, idiot. You’ll pass out.
Genya: (surprised)
Wait, you’re not mad anymore?
Sanemi: (sighs)
I’m always mad. But… you did good, Genya.
You worked hard. Even if your math’s trash.
Genya: (smiling faintly)
Thanks, Nemi.
Next time… I’ll get 60.
Sanemi: (grinning dangerously)
Make it 70 or I’ll throw you into a math book.
Genya:
…Worth a try.
(They eat together in silence — the peace brief, but real. Outside, the crickets resume chirping… terrified.)
---
YOU ARE READING
KIMETSU ACADEMY
Humorthis contains made up variations of Kimetsu Gakeun. Filled with High school chaos that will send you rolling on the floor. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK OR YOU MIGHT DIE FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD!!!
